I want to know!

So many of my friends have supported me in a variety of friends ever since I lost my daughter. They've done everything from driven me to appointments to just been there when I didn't want to be alone. And now that over a year has passed, I'm trying to repay them.

To me, paying attention and remembering things about people are among the highest of compliments. If you actually remember a story I tell you about work, or where I'm going for a conference, it shows me you care enough to pay attention and store it in your memory.

I confess, my memory has been really bad since my daughter died. In the first few weeks, I couldn't remember anything, and that was OK since there were so many people around helping out. Now, since I choose to continue to live life (not just survive) I'm forced to remember everything from when and what bills to pay, to when my daughter's playdate is this weekend.

Friends seem...reluctant to tell me things. Some seem to not want to tell me anything. Maybe they feel they should just listen and that anything they tell me would be overwhelming, or unimportant. It's not true--my friends, their trials and tribulations, vacations, children's accomplishments--all of it is important, and I want to know!

The caveat is, my memory still isn't great. If you tell me you're going to the beach in July, I'll probably ask you several times where and when you're going, remembering only that you're going somewhere later this summer.

I'm working on it and hope to get better. In the meantime, just know that I (meaning, anyone who's lost a child or suffered trauma) want to be involved and informed about others' lives, and be gentle to me if I have trouble remembering everything.